Everyone deserves to be happy in their own solitude. Everyone deserves to know how to be okay alone. People who stay single for longer are often demonised with words like “stuck in their ways” or “confirmed single forever”. But the truth about people is that people who know how to be single are by far the most comfortable with their own truths and themselves.
In 2018, I hope you learn how to be alone. Better yet, I hope you learn to love being alone. There is a big difference between alone and lonely, and I hope you find that being alone is a brilliant opportunity to grow and do things that you found you could never do in a relationship.
You see, when you are with someone, without even meaning to, you will end up conforming. Even if you are fiercely independent, you become used to the love, the affection, your partner’s mannerisms and just their being there. You don’t even realise it’s happening. So if you’ve just come out of a longterm relationship, it hurts not just heart and mind but because you don’t know how to be by yourself anymore, your individuality too.
Once you’ve been alone for a while you begin to really appreciate or understand things about yourself. From the good stuff like how clean and tidy you like your home to the bad stuff, like how hard you are on yourself or how little you look after certain aspects of your life. You also get to know what you really want from your life in that time. Growth happens when you are able to evaluate and contemplate your own needs versus your wants and fears and truly take steps to making them happen.
I hope, in 2018, you learn to love your own company so much that when love does come to your door, it isn’t out of need, but out of want. I hope in 2018 you realise the only person you need is yourself and no one else.