Sometimes you don’t get closure. You don’t get to stand before the person who hurt you and ask them why they did it, ask them if they see the pain they’ve caused, ask them if they even care. You don’t get the opportunity to go back in time. You can’t change the decision you’ve made in the heat of the moment, the paths you took by mistake, the people you loved who were completely wrong for you.
Sometimes you don’t get a second chance. You don’t always get the ability to start completely over after you’ve fallen down. You don’t always get to chase the person you left when you weren’t ready, take back the words you’ve said, or unlove the one you gave your heart to.
Sometimes there are no redo buttons, no rewinds. Sometimes you’re simply stuck with the cards you’ve been dealt, as painful as they may be.
But that doesn’t mean your future is hopeless.
You can’t completely erase all your mistakes. But you can begin again. You can’t make people change, make them love you, make them apologize. But you can lessen their negative effect on your heart. You can learn to learn to let go, even if they don’t make amends. You can forgive yourself before you even begin to forgive them.
Because the moment you choose to rid yourself of all blame and guilt is the moment you truly begin to heal.
Sometimes terrible things happen to us and we crumble. Like flowers without sun, we wilt. We start to see the mistakes we’ve made as our identity. We think the way someone mistreats us is a reflection of our worth.
But we are not defined by the times we’ve fallen down. And our identities are not found in the faces, and voices, and arms of the ones who have caused us pain.
If you hear nothing else today—hear this: You are worth more than the brokenness of your past. You are valued beyond what someone has unfairly tried to make you believe about yourself. And you are deserving of healing – most importantly from yourself.
Read these words as a reminder: It’s okay to forgive yourself. It’s okay to let go. It’s okay to acknowledge that you’ve been imperfect, but that longer has to be your identity.
It’s okay to look back on the person you’ve been and slowly release your guilt. It’s okay to realize that you’ve changed, are continually changing, and might make different decisions now. It’s okay to come to terms with the fact that you loved people who weren’t right for you, that you did stupid things, that you lost your footing, your focus, or your faith a time or two.
It’s okay to say, ‘I am fine. I am moving on. I am letting go. I am beginning again.’
It’s okay to see what has happened to you not as a roadblock, but as a yield sign to teach you to slow, then push forward. To show you that you are – and always will be – stronger than you think.
It’s okay to be imperfect. To be human. To forgive yourself for the moments you lost your way. To heal.