As a teenager, I thought by 25 I would already have met the guy I was meant to marry. And at 20, I believed that whole heartedly, I had met that one ‘person’ for me. But as life always comes with surprises and turnarounds, fate was not on my side in that relationship.
After my first big love relationship ended, I ventured out of my comfort zone by trying out the single life. It didn’t last long and ultimately resulted in finding myself in another relationship.
But since graduating college, I’ve been immersed, spun around, and entranced by the dating scene. And you know what? It’s more than just an experience. It’s more than just going on dates. It’s lesson after lesson on what values and wants I need my future partner to have. And I think that’s a pretty awesome thing to know about yourself.
Right now, I am incredibly grateful for all that I have experienced so far when it has come to love. I’ve had big love, I’ve had small love, I’ve had almost love, and I’ve had week long flings that didn’t amount to anything. Yet, all of these relationships or lack there of, were equally important to learning more about myself and learning about who I shouldn’t or should settle for.
I’m only 25. I’m too young to know all of the parts and pieces of myself, so why should I be looking for a man to marry now? Of course, it’s not the same for everybody. I know people who are younger than me who are ten times more mature than me who have settled down. And it makes complete sense for them.
But not for me, and I’m not mad about it.
I have still so much to do. So much to see. So many more people to meet and people to love and adore. I have so much more exploring to do. Exploring myself, figuring out what makes my heart race or slow down. I have so much to learn about me. So much to grasp onto and to soak up what life has to give me.
For me, 25 is too young to know whether or not I could spend the rest of my life with one person. Of course, I want to get married in the future. And who knows, maybe my soulmate will show up tomorrow. But, for now, I’m more than content living the way I am.
I’m not saying I’m against being in a relationship. I’m not saying everyone should stay single forever. I would just rather wait than to rush it. I would rather have some time on my own first, before settling down. I would rather get to know myself and others on a deeper level. I would rather be my best self, before I found ‘the one’.
Love takes patience. It also takes a hell of a lot of courage and grit. It’s absolutely beautiful, and worth all of the pit falls and dips. But, self love is just the same — if not even harder.
I’d rather work on myself, for myself and by myself for a little while longer. I’ve still got a lot of learning, leaving, and loving left to do.