You will never be enough for the person who doesn’t love you.
Your warmth will never thaw the heart which does not beat for you. Your eyes will never see a glimpse into the soul that is searching for someone else. You may be hearing everything you want to hear, but you will not feel it in your bones.
You will always be the one who holds the hug the longest. Their kisses will linger on your lips while yours will be quickly forgotten. You could write a million love letters, but they will never understand the depth of your words. You could explain your feelings in a million different ways, but they will never quite believe you.
Then you will start making excuses. At first you won’t even realize you are doing it. The excuses will make you feel better temporarily. You’ll tell yourself that they are just too busy. They have more important priorities, so you should be thankful you are at least one of them. It’s okay if there’s no trace of you in their life, they are just a really private person. Then you will remember that you also have a bustling life filled with responsibilities and your excuses for them won’t make much sense.
Then you will start blaming yourself. You will work harder to prove yourself and your love. You will be the one to apologize first, even if you didn’t think you were wrong. You will go out of your way to please them in order to keep the peace. You will stop mentioning things that bother you. You will stop asking them to meet your needs and instead focus solely on meeting theirs.
Then you will be shocked when it’s still not enough. They won’t suddenly wake up one day in awe of your existence. They won’t profess their love and commitment to you. In fact, one day, they won’t do anything for you at all. And they never will again. They will leave you without even a goodbye or a single word. Their silence is intentional. It is to remind you that you weren’t enough for them and you never will be. You weren’t even worth an explanation of their abandonment.
Do not blame them for not loving you. Maybe they thought they loved you, but maybe it wasn’t enough.
Love is not something you have to analyze. You will know when someone loves you.
They don’t leave when times get tough or feelings get hurt. They lean into you. They work at the relationship. They know losing each other is an unacceptable outcome so they fight to make things right.
This is the moment that you must gather every ounce of strength you have left in your body and rise. Do not blame yourself for the heartbreak you’re feeling. Remind yourself of all of the wonderful people you have in your life who have supported you through everything.
Remind yourself that while being alone sucks, being with someone who never truly loved you is even worse.
Focus on all the love you have to give that will one day be appreciated. Regretting a relationship is a waste of time and will keep you trapped in the past. You did your best and that’s all you could’ve done.
No relationship is a fairy tale and soulmates don’t exist. Good relationships are simply made up of commitment, compassion, and forgiveness. They are created by two people who always show up for each other, even when it’s not convenient or necessarily enjoyable. They ride the waves of life together. This doesn’t mean there is some perfect person out there floating through the world waiting to meet you and whisk you into your happily ever after. It does mean that there are people out there just like you who are seeking a fulfilling relationship and know that it won’t come easy. They have been through enough heartbreak of their own to understand that relationships grow stronger when you choose to stay.
One day you will meet the person that will choose to stay.